Showing posts with label Woes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Woes. Show all posts

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Procrastination Blues

After a couple of days (more like a week) of procrastination, socializing, and endless bar visits, I can say that my brain is on the verge of a meltdown. (Which might explain why I drew such a wonky picture....it really wasn't supposed to turn out this way at all. In fact, I started by drawing Maka. I have absolutely no control over my hand today.) Nonetheless, this is the first picture in months. Months....since easter break, before revision and exams really took up all of my time.

So the partying has died down a bit, but now my friends are moving away for the summer (and some are bound never to return) so a bunch of good-bye gatherings are to be expected. And it is also the time of year for disappointments; where students find out what grades they get (we get ours this coming Friday), realize that they don't have enough money for tuition next year (and hence have to drop out of school), or find out that their academic dreams are dashed because of personal problems.

Yes, I've encountered some crying friends recently. And no, I have no idea how to cope with such moments. I know its not about me, but it really is difficult to find a suitable way to comfort someone when they're crying their eyes out. Should I give them a hug? Or do what I was taught to do since I was a kid, and leave them to their own devices? Well, hopefully there will only be good news after these few weeks.

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On a brighter note, I'm going to head to Norway for a couple of days. How delightful it is to realize that I don't need a Schegen (is this how I spell it?) visa to travel around Europe...I suppose that is when my passport really comes in handy. But before the summer travels begin, must write my dissertation, and enjoy a few more days of sunshine and snoozing in the grass....

...and then there is the more difficult task of avoiding people I don't want to see in town. Of course, not that there is anyone I absolutely hate, but there is this one girl where each time I come close to thinking she is a decent human being, would just go out and try to prove me wrong. She would do things like i)being an hour late or not showing up for meetings ii)act slightly antagonistically when others contradict her points iii)sometimes lie about the most random things. It is partially my fault that she thinks we're absolutely 'best friends', since I wasn't persistent enough (like the other people who she knows) in trying to create some social distance....maybe the best solution is just to avoid her in general.

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PS: thanks to Ancode for the post-exam well-wishes!

Friday, April 10, 2009

April Blues

Blithe in uniform; rough draft. I like this sort of uniform (and had one like it back in grade school), and I'm still not set on the colour scheme. I do like her stockings though....

Kidd at the seaside....I drew this soon after I returned from my seaside weekend wander. It was most delightful, and I guess I had so much fun because I had no expectations from it whatsoever. The beautiful weather helped a lot as well. Not really sure why I gave him longer hair, but it matches him...

Young Kidd wanting a lift. Drawn soon after the series ended; I'm terrible at drawing children.

Illustration of the moment: Kidd in a strange outfit I drew this evening. Those circles remind me on Eibon/Noah's technique

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Must get back to reading and work. Am feeling super unproductive this vacation; the fact that my other classmates are all working doesn't help at all. I feel terrible about not working, but then I don't feel like working because I'm feeling so terrible...cycle of death.

I'm also resting; after donating blood this week, I was foolish enough to immediately ride a bike and almost ended up losing my mind in the middle of the street. Moment of spasticity indeed. Luckily I managed to get to a bench, sit and sweat it out for 10 minutes or so, and then walk back home. Thought about asking for help from the people around me, but I didn't have enough energy to do so/ didn't want to bother anyone and admit to my stupidity. But it was alright; no one seems to have noticed my condition (half dead, flopped over my bike, sweating in freezing conditions) so I was left to my privacy. Or should I be worried that no one offered help...?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Scribbles IV

Death the Kidd with mask and hairpiece...wanted to draw something like this for a while, but never mustered up the energy. It takes longer to draw this than if I were to draw and colour an image (such as the one below).

Aein, rolling (apparently faceless) dice.

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So I went to London on earlier this week, and despite seeing people from my old school and catching up on their current affairs, I regretted going so far from home. My shoulder is aching, and I can feel the early flu symptoms (it was bloody cold, the wind was strong). Not to mention I got carded at Sainsburys from buying alcohol for the people I was seeing. It really was one of those days where I wanted to spend it alone.

A pet peeve; just because my parents can pay my tuition does not mean they're rich. It doesn't mean I am rich (need I mention my part-time jobs and scholarships throughout my undergrad years?). It just means my parents saved up over the years to pay, by cutting back on a lot of things in the family. We didn't get the newest technological gadgets; we didn't have annual vacations to far away destinations. Affording the tuition doesn't mean I'm some spoiled child who doesn't know anything about the world. Oh course, one should take comments like that from ignorant and small-minded people in moderation, and just deal with it...

...damn I'm pissed. Hate it when people presume they know the sort of things we go through.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Scibbles

A quick doodle whilst I'm waiting for my salmon steak to cook in the kitchen :D yum. I'm not very good with backgrounds, though I must admit my backgrounds aren't normally as crappy as the one here in the image. Today is another beautiful Sunday full of sunshine and blue skies, but decided to spend most of the time indoors (asides from a brief moment where I went out to buy groceries.)

Now I have to think of my summer dissertation topic, and begin reviewing my old notes from the first two terms; exam prep should start soon. At first the intent was to revise today, but then my supervisor is right about taking some time off, feel refreshed, and then tackle the task. Which is why I'm also writing on this blog again.

Alrightio, just got back from the kitchen with my delicious salmon steak with carrots, potatoes, and rice. (No, it is not a weird combination.) Took me four tries to cook the fish to decency (not aiming for perfection here, just edibility); for the longest time I could figure out why the oil was turning brown before the fish was cooked, and why the fish was getting burned and yet the inside was still pink. As first I figured it must have something to do with my timing (when I pour in the oil, when I drop the fish); of if I distributed the oil evenly in the pan; or whether the water content in the fish was throwing me off; of if the nature of the fish meat itself was problematic (it had expired a couple of days ago). It was a puzzle that drove me a little insane for a week. Then my mum tells me that maybe, just maybe, I left the heat on a setting that was too high....such a simple solution.

Just going to dump a few random thoughts I had throughout the term:

-had a conversation with some friends the other afternoon, and one of them were so adamant about her preference for 'classical music' because it was so 'cultured'. Made some of us around her feel like barbarians just from mentioning 'rock music' around her. She's a nice girl really, but with a competitive streak that seems to be applied to everyday settings (think: competitive in terms of colleges, school work, life achievements, personal hobbies, etc). As for myself, I do like classical music; but I wouldn't actively go out their concerts, or buy their CDs. The music sounds nice, but I just don't understand it. More of an alternative rock/pop person here. Not going to force myself to like something just to make myself seen 'smarter'.

-I wish I were a more interesting person. I don't need a more interesting life (because I've had a fairly eventful one so far....lived through the lives of others) but if only I were good at conversations or knew what awesome things to say. Such a people pleaser....boo

-still don't understand the phenomenon known as 'children'. They lack appeal. How discombobulating.

It is going to take some time before I remember everything I want to say, so the rest will be posted next time. Off to get cleaned up, and then for an evening inside a theatre (the rare occasion I actually venture outdoors at night.)

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Still watching Soul Eater; the anime is surprising so far (walking cities...), but it keeps the plot interesting and unpredictable. The manga this month is also lovely but it was very much a build-up chapter; plot was moving, but to nowhere in particular. Grr. The art style makes up for it though. A little disspointed that Excalibur is on the cover of volume 14, since it would have been fitting for Kid to be on it instead....

Shikabane Hime: Aka was a good watch up until the antagonist were properly introduced; then started taking issue with the character designs, and plot holes, and the "what, why the heck did that just happen" moments. Stopped watching Gundam 00 since they started introducing new characters to be killed, and the story in Regios is moving so slowly... same goes for Jigoku Shoujo (it took around 20 episodes before the heroine realizes something was up with herself....even though we knew that was the case from the credits since episode 1.)

I complain too much.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Frills and Smiles


So I went for a snow fight on Thursday, feeling like a gleeful rebel when I put my tutorial essay off until a few hours before deadline. Except, it meant going into my tutorial the following day feeling super embarrassed after I realized my essay was littered with typos. ARGH; I don't normally make typos, and knowing that I did....so shameful. But I have a record of making crappy essays during week 3-4, so who knows what I'll churn out this upcoming week.

Proposal still not done, but making progress.

At least the new chapter for Soul Eater will be coming out soon, so there will be something to distract me from working again. But here is a picture of Kidd in...something I don't know. I just thought of it all the sudden and decided to draw tonight (despite the readings that need to be...er....read.)

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Illust and Scribbles

Kidd with long hair....I think it'll suit him! Anyways, just another skin-toning exercise using Open Canvas. Can't wait until the new chapter comes out in Feburary....

'Niu' year...terrible pun, but won't damper the New Year festivities (which were virtually missing from where I am right now). Of course, just for superstition's sake I went out and bought some clementines (pronounced 'gum' in Chinese, which is the same sound for 'gold'...hence associated with wealth). I asked my family for my New Year predictions, and basically they said anything could happen. Which is what happens every single year anyways, so what they said wasn't very helpful at all.

But you can't go wrong if you work hard and head towards your goal! Ahh, I wish I had some good old Turnip cake right now....

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Blithe Bauhinia, random study.

A study of (longhair!) Kid, part of another image I am drawing of him right now.

Maka and Soul (the first time I drew him! Took forever). Sorry if the quality of the last two scribbles were a tad fuzzy, but I drew them in super-light colours on Open Canvas and getting them into JPG format (and adjusting the contrast) meant degrading the quality quite a bit.

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Another unproductive weekend. Spent 4 hours staring at two chapters, and I'm not even sure if I absorbed everything I read in those. I suppose my day didn't start off great; I did all the grogecy shopping I needed to do, but then I ran into a bunch of Asian student tourists at the Chinese Supermarket. I don't mind tourists under most circumstances, but when you're in a queue carrying a bag of rice (yes, an entire bag, a very heavy bag), you don't really have the patience to appreciate 6 Asian girls cutting in front of you just because one of their friends had a spot in front of you. There were no apologies, nothing (not even a smile-- those girls stared at me like I was a monster or something). After they were all outside the store, I finally paid for the rice and left to get my bike (back at the city centre graveyard), when the entire bloody road in front of me was blocked by the same group of tourists. Taking. Photos. Gr.

I actually had to walk around the entire tourist group by stepping onto the traffic road, and hoped I wouldn't get run over by angry drivers. I was a fool to go to the Chinese supermarket on Saturday....

Eurgh, I've been making a fool out of myself during tutorials nowadays. Because I no longer have a tutorial partner, it means I have to actually talk to the supervisor now; not that there is any problem with that (since the man is very nice), but I could never articulate my answers properly. I write an essay, but then I forget what I wrote a day after I hand it in.....that is appalling. My supervisor would say that I made a good point in the essay, and I'll be sitting there saying "what did I write again? Did I write that?"

And as for the research proposal, I'm having to revise it right now (causing me endless woes, believe me). But then I'm very confused with the process; not with the bureaucratic aspect of the application itself, but what my (potential) supervisor meant the last time we met. Was it a 'yes' or 'no' with the supervising business? I feel like there is some miscommunication going on....not a great start. I'm very worried...

...which resulted in me losing sleep a couple of nights this week. And since I wake up at 7am daily, it means by 4pm I'm a sinking ship. Felt terrible about showing up to the pub-meet looking like I got ran over by a bus, and not being energetic enough to sustain a conversation with anybody. Why is it so easy for me to create awkward situations in social gatherings? It's like I have a knack for it....of all the 'skills' in the world to have....

Sunday, January 11, 2009

24 hour Review (image heavy!)

Waking up in the morning to see the frost-covered ground...apparently it has never gotten this bad during this time of the year before. The Big Chill really is here!

Tragically, my birthday present for myself is a pair of shoes to wear for the exams in June....yes, I bought myself a pair of exam shoes for my birthday. Because I'm the epitome of positive thinking during all festive occasions. Do excuse the crazy socks, I would have taken them off for the photo except my feet were bloody cold.

The canal was frozen; we could even see the rubbish at the bottom of the river bed. You wouldn't have guessed that people threw their bicycles in there...and there is no way to lift that out of the water since it was encased in solid ice.

The Meadows, with a thin layer of frost. It made the entire landscape that much more difficult to walk on....it was like wearing hiking boots and being made to walk of concrete. For over 40 minutes.

The pub we went to from the walking trail; took 40 minutes to get here and another 40 to get back, but it was worth it. I can't imagine another pub where the environment was so tranquil and the scenery so nice. Probably would have been better in sunnier weather, but drinking hot chocolate under gray skies made the entire day an walk seem worthwhile.

All in all, my birthday was great. Though I'm still not happy about growing up and getting older.
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Edel and Blithe

Kidd, in a drawing I did during the Summer 2008. It's half-inked, but I don't know if I really want to finish it off. Probably will, since I started it already, but I'll make some minor adjustments for the parts in pencil. This is one of the rare moments I still use traditional media to draw with; it's open canvas all the way now!

Was listening to the song as I was drawing, hence a semi-crazed-looking Kidd (with long hair!). The song was 'My Delirium', and it's damn catchy.

This is the image I most likely will ink on Open Canvas and colour. Started off as a simple doodle of Aein, but then I decided it might look nice if I added some extra stuff here and there..the reason behind the phrase on the bottom will be explained later.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Ice Sheets and Cakes


Edel, Blithe and Aein together again! Just a rough doodle of the three of them (I don't draw this group often enough), and a brief design guide of their casual outfits. I reckon the colour scheme will undergo some revision later on, since I was just randomly picking out tones on Open Canvas.

The reason for such a hastily drawn image? Well, I'm bloody tired. My friend finally did call me back at 12:40am in the morning (technically ON my birthday) and actually agreed to go on the nature walk. Which was fantastic; the Meadows were covered in frost, and the Cherwell and Thames were frozen as well! I didn't think I would be able to see children and adults skating on the ice....which really wasn't that thick at all (it cracked the moment my friend and I stepped onto the ice). And because of the cold conditions, it made the pub drink so much more worthwhile at the end.

The walk was fun, but I think I would have enjoyed the entire outting so much more if I didn't sleep at 4am and wake up at 8am. To make a correction on the title; I actually didn't get a birthday cake, but I had a lovely box of the Sainsburys Chocolate-covered-Cornflakes.....innovative!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Blue to Grey


Kidd and an unknown hand. I'll let anyone guess whose it is, because I have no idea.
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Asides from referring to my mood, the title also refers to the local weather. Blue skies are gone, and here are the grey skies of...who knows? I can't tell if that is snow or not. It is as though we're living under someone who is shaking their head and has a huge dandruff problem (the flakes are so small and thin that it looks like like skin....less disgusting than it sounds). The weather had warmed a little, and just after they fixed the heater by switching it off for entire days.

So it is my birthday tomorrow, and I'm feeling mellow about the whole ordeal. I even turned down an invitation to another friend's event just to hole up inside my room and avoid all human contact. And it doesn't help that my friend who promised to take me on a nature walk to a restaurant tomorrow is not answering the text message I sent...so I assume she's busy and won't make it tomorrow (ever the pessimist). I don't need presents, I just need some human company. On the bright side, if I do stay in college I might get some work done.

I need to get some grocery shopping done anyways. This has been a fairly hectic week, with the fridge breaking down and the cleaners having to throw away half my food (why would they keep the chicken meat but toss the vegetables if the fridge breaks down? Wouldn't the meat spoil first?). And then the Sainsburys Local cashier lady was awfully mean, telling me to "pay attention" (its a long story to explain, but I was pretty much dragged into it unwillingly). I don't mind the reprimand if it wasn't so condescending...or if it was justified. So now I'm having a personal boycott from the Sainsburys Local next to the cemetery, but there is the Sainsburys at Westgate.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Scribbles II

Kidd and Black Star together, another pose study. I couldn't think of another set of characters to put in their stead here....maybe Maka and Soul? But I started drawing Kid already, and I didn't want to change the character halfway through an image because it makes the end product look sort of weird...
Kidd; go snowboarding!

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So tired; I've been having trouble getting up in the mornings. Something about the cold weather that makes you want to cocoon inside your blankets for half a day. The weather here has improved a tad, though there is still not enough sunshine....one can tell when one's sunjar refuses to light up at night despite being placed next to the window the entire day. I've actually managed to start my proposal, but the more I read the more confused I get over the research question and I I feel as though everything is one big mess.

Hopefully I'll sort that out before term starts in a week....I wish I could work at night, but I tend to get sidetracked by alot of things....like drawing and catching up with BBC news. Must spend my friday reading and in the library cleaning up the proposal, since Saturday is the dreaded day and I won't have time to do anything academic then...curses.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Adios, Colour in Life

Death the Kidd, in an outfit of my own design. Probably one of the last fully-coloured pieces (hence the title) I will be submitting for a while, since it is seriously time to start working again. Got another bout of reading done, and was going to head to the library only to find that it was TOO COLD OUTSIDE...so I scampered back into my room to take refuge under the blankets on my chair. Yes, I had to wear five layers plus wrap a blanket around me to keep warm inside my room. I hate to think what would have happened if I ventured out to Marks and Sparks to buy salmon...whilst biking (wind chill!)

The heater isn't working, and it is winter in the UK. What great timing.

Another pet peeve: the people in my building are returning after the break, and the kitchen was left in utter chaos. The right cooker was left covered with oil (I didn't know, so the moment I switched it on the entire thing started smoking), and the left cooker is sort of wonked up so it started beeping like crazy when I was halfway through cooking my curry dish. I ended up having to run upstairs to use the other kitchen instead.

And why do men leave the toilet seat UP after using them? Especially in places where the toilers are co-ed and we all have to share?

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Shades in Pink

I actually managed to get something done today; so cheers to that. Here is a doodle of Aein, testing out the colour schemes again. I'm colouring in a style used back in my highschool days (from Oekaki-ing), and I must admit that it makes the image look a tad richer than the cell colouring style I'm currently favouring....meh, not sure which one to stick with, but plenty of time to experiment.
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In other news, I'm starting to have an aversion towards going to the city centre. The town isn't bad, just that the youths loitering around Cornmarket and imitating Asian languages (in the degratory way) isn't making the place seem any friendlier. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and feel like just staying inside my blankets after knowing that I have to go to the Sainsbury at the centre (the bike trip in this freezing weather doesn't help either). Also doesn't help when the elderly population thinks you're incapable of speaking in English (and it is my first language, damnit!)...I felt dreadful because the elderly librarian was so embarassed when she presumed I only spoke an Asian language.

Another peeve; I know it is polite to call someone a 'lady'/'m'am' rather than 'girl', but I feel so old when people use that term when addressing or refering to me ;___; Either I look ageless (which works fine if I were in my forties), or I'm just OLD. It doesn't even make sense since I still get carded in pubs! I must be having such insecure thoughts since my birthday is in less than a week.

Another year, another 365 days wasted...

Friday, January 2, 2009

HAPPY 2009 partie 2

Tomorrow: Sainsbury trip, need those potatoes and toilet paper rolls. Then WORK. Must work! Must motivate self to work and not doodle all the time! It is now a day and a half after the new year, and I must say that I've been getting readings done. Not as much as I ought to have (I'm only doing 100pages/day), mind you, but still getting something accomplished is better than nothing. But none of those matter when there are still essays to sort out ;___;

But still not motivated enough to start on tutorial essay and proposal......eurgh. Must work up the energy tomorrow....that is, if I wake up tomorrow at all. I've had such erratic sleep habits for the past week...eurgh. Really can't work up the energy to form coherant sentences anymore.

ARGH I just realised that my friend's birthday is tomorrow....another friend's birthday four days later....and my birthday soon (really, really soon) after that....and then another friend's birthday....and from that point on there is a birthday every other day. Cluster babies, I say, cluster babies. Our parents did this on purpose.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

October Blue Skies

Sorry for the absence: a lot has happened since I left Hong Kong on the 29th of Sept. Flew to the U.K., settled into my parent's temporary apartment there and then slowly unpacked my things at my new dorm. And then my parents left, which I was fine with at their send-off; but ended up to be a one-women-sob-fest once inside my room. Bought a bike to get around town, and called most of my U.K. friends (I knew them from highschool in H.K.)...started reading and writing essays for classes....well, lets just say it is a good thing I'm kept busy otherwise I'll be super depressed.

Or is there even a reason for me to mope around? The town is gorgeous, the people I've met are awesome....maybe this will be a better time than my undergraduate experience?

But here is the thing; I don't know if I'll have time to draw this term. Alas, alas....but school comes first. At least winter break in in seven weeks....

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Unbalanced!

An old sketch I did while studying during sophomore year. I can't figure out why I can draw backgrounds using pen/pencil+paper, but when it comes to using my wacom tablet I just end up creating a mess. It's not even a matter of applying pressure, since the tablet is pressure sensitive and OC adjusts to that. I think it's a matter of mood and motivation when having a piece of paper in front of you.



So unsymmetrical, I'm surprised he hasn't coughed up blood yet. I started the drawing as a background study, but somehow ended up like this. Kept erasing things over and over again and I just got sick of it. I'll definately try again later on, but as for now....I'll just stick with this.

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Damn, I hope there isn't another typhoon coming around to H.K., otherwise I'll have to delay my flight to the U.K. next week. Not like it'll create an inconvenient setback in terms of attending introductory programmes on campus, but it just means I'll be awfully tired.

As anyone can tell, I'm getting over my reluctance to leave the 852. In fact, I'm rather excited to leave home and see what else is new in a different country; perhaps the idleness of Summer is finally losing it's appeal? Nah, can't be. I'll end up whining for a break again as soon as the assignments, essays and readings crash in.

Still nervous as hell.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Lunchtime


I remember when my pre-school teacher would call for us to eat our lunches inside the classroom. Whatever it was that they fed us, I'm surprised I managed to survive on it (I was a picky eater when I was young, with alot of requirements about what foods were 'clean' and which ones just looked too gross to ingest...it got to the point where I would only eat boiled eggs.)

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It's raining today, which really isn't helping me get out the door to head to a group dinner. So unmotivated. Something about rain and thunder that makes you want to stay indoors and just sleep the day away.

I also hate that students are going back to school now on campus, which means there is more competition over who gets a seat on the university school buses (the buses used to be so spacious during the Summer, but now it's jammed packed with rude-and-loud students, smelly post-basket-ball-game guys, and people with really-large-backpacks-backpacks-like-they're-refugees.)

Week (not over) in Review

I'm finally going to draw DGM stuff again, after a prolonged hiatus on the from the series in general. Here is just a warm-up image testing colours and composition etc. Maybe I should have done this for the Valentine's Day cards I sent out last year....but no matter. Even if I did use this image, Kinko's (only the Kinkos around my old university campus) printing would have messed it up anyhow. Happened twice before....either the staff print the images onto the wrong sort of paper, or they go crazy on the resizing business and mess up the resolution of the images....gr.

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I am still angry on Monday after getting my visa back. I'm angry that I can't get angry at the British Consulate staff members. I mean, those people work 8 hour days, 5 days a week, and it must be stressful for them to sort out documents of hundreds of people. But that doesn't really excuse them for losing my passport when I went to collect it; or the fact that they told me to sit down and wait but then forgot that I existed....until closing time.

Was literally the last person sitting in the office at 5:00pm (closing time). The people at the counter only noticed me when the security guard asked why I was still sitting there by myself. Then the people behind the counter remembered that they were supposed to be looking for my passport....a task they should have been doing [but forgot to do] when I first approached them at 3:30pm. Ended up leaving during Central rush-hour....what a nightmare.

But the upside of the day was seeing some really weird people inside the office area. There was this girl in front of me that dressed like a hooker; a black long sleeves shirt, short leopard print skirt and 4 inch heels. Top all that with at least an inch of foundation and some serious hair dye/perm job. It's a wonder her face didn't melt in the 30C weather-- then again she had brought her minion to carry her purse and fan her (another duty of said minion was to help the girl up the stairs...she couldn't walk up with those heels on.)

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My new bicycle decided to die on me on Tuesday, thanks to a busted front tire. The dude at the shop said it must have been something really sharp that pierced the tire, since the inner tube was damaged but the outer layer was unscathed. It's probably caused by a piece of the rubble left behind by the construction workers, but it doesn't really matter. Bike is back to full health (fixed for only 35HKD....I recommend Chap Shing Bicycle shop for cheap stuff and good service. Located on 39 Yan Hing Street, Tai Po), and I'm flying across the parking lot giving car-owners heart attacks by swerving really close next to their BMWs and Mercedes. (This is why you should only drive a Volvo/Honda/Mazda/Toyota when you're living in a residence filled with active young people and kids.)

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On a more personal note, my friend and I recently realized that we both have some serious guilt issues. We're always guilty about people we've treated poorly in the past (in highschool we were complete a-holes), and we're guilty the way we drain our parent's finances and time every single day. We also guilty about some of the friends we've wronged before, which lead to some broken off ties nowadays-- but we've learned how to suck it up and live with it, since it can't be expected that you're liked by everyone to begin with.

After some discussion at Starbucks, we are left more confused than ever. Living with a sense of guilt is pretty nerve wrecking (and anxiety inducing....and has led to many-a-sleepless-nights), but there also is no point in remedying past wrongs after so many years of non-contact (what are we supposed to say: "hey, remember me? Sorry I was such a b*tch back then. No idea what was running through my head. So anyways, what's up with you"?). If only we could offer an apology to people in the past, we would; but would the apology even hold the same meaning now as it would have then? And then there are the people who don't need apologies, but rather will initiate contact with you again with no conditions whatsoever and still be chummy with you...which makes it even harder, because whatever crap you did to them in the past is always lingering there like some invisible barrier.

'Friendships' and the like are so confusing as a concept; don't get me started on 'relationships-as-a-couple'. Some of my other friends fight with their other-halves all the time, and things always ends with tears and lots of over-the-phone-consolation-at-night...don't really understand why they bother being with another person in the first place. It's an awful lot of trouble, isn't it?

Or maybe we're thinking too much about this entire business? The above rant isn't supposed to make much sense, I'm just rambling whatever was discussed this week combined with what was running through my mind. My thoughts are in such a disjointed state that coherent points aren't being made in those paragraphs anymore....

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Lunches and Snacks

Had lunch with friends yesterday in Central, and it's so strange to see some of them working real jobs now. One of them wore a power-business-suit with proper heels and make-up, which was a little intimidating at first....and it took a while to get used to. Anywho, managed to find a nice place in Central for lunch, and the bill totaled to less than 100HKD per person...a pretty good deal considering Central is one of the most expensive places on earth. Everyone around us in the restaurant wore suits and carried blackberries and were busy making business deals....while my other friend and I were donned in jeans, shirts and hoodies. So out-of-place...not that I mind. DEVIATE!

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Anyways, I went to apply for a UK student visa yesterday and it was hell. I arrived at 9:40am (thanks to my dad who went all the way to Admiralty even though his meeting was in North Point), handed in the relevant forms to the people and waited until 11:40am before they called my name. And that was only to pay for the visa, the actual photographing and fingerprinting procedure wasn't until 11:55am. As if the wait wasn't bad enough, I started going crazy during the wait. Thought they called my name once, but there were two people talking at the same time over the comm that I wasn't sure and sat for an hour wondering whether I made a mistake or not.

And then some lady announced to everyone that we had to have banking statements dating at least three months prior (and I'm sure that wasn't on the Consulate website when I read the list of required materials!) so another bout of worrying came. My dad told me it should be fine since the officials could hardly care less about what you provide as long as they know who you are generally, but the anxiety isn't completely gone.

And I still have to go back to the office on Monday to get my passports back.....fabulous. They told me to arrive at 3:30pm, but I'm not keen on waiting for another two hours and then braving the Central rush-hour masses (people queue up, but it's still crazy.)

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My mother came home with this today; some kind of bean bun with chocolate. Looks too cute to eat. Still pondering whether that is a unibrow on its forehead or just its hairline.

Monday, August 25, 2008

People, People, Everywhere

So I finally managed to get into the Computer Convention last night (after a failed attempt on Saturday-- too many people, and it would have taken an hour to get inside the building!), and apparently people have nothing better to do during weekdays. What happened to work and school? I'm still on my Summer holiday so that's a pretty good excuse to be browsing for computers on a Monday evening-- but what excuse does that middle-aged old man have?

Alright, I'm just being harsh because the amount of people and the noise was very stressful. In fact, the din left me temporarily deaf and I only began hearing things again this morning (it was worst than the music at Club C...back in the day.) Speaking of clubs, the convention was like a nerdier version of Lan Kwai Fong; the ratio of men to women were about 6:1, and there were plenty of posers all around. Electronic posers, mind you-- people who act as though they know 'all-that' about something just because they read the back of a box before you did.

But there were highlights to the convention, and they come in the form of cheap electronics. Snagged myself a pair of nice earphones (because my old ones that came with the i-pod died on me...damn you, Apple! And my warranty just ran out too); a digital photo frame; and various USB memory sticks for way under 10USD. Some heartbreak did happen as well....saw my Wacom tablet and my new Fujitsu laptop be sold for about a thousand dollars cheaper than the retail price which I got mine for. The again, I bought my wacom tablet more than half a year ago, so maybe that might explain the price drop..... but still, the laptop price! Nevermind, doesn't change the fact I have an awesome laptop.

And finally had my first share of Peking Duck [for the summer] last night; absolutely wonderful. I can see why tourists requested that the Beijing chefs bring some over to London for the 2012 Olympics. Wait until everyone finds out about the Nanjing Duck...

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Now that Maka and Chrona's fight is pretty much over, I'm eager to get back to the rest of the Kishin arc-- starting from next week. And after the next couple of episodes, maybe we'll even see a new opening sequence...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Spin and Dropkick

Hell, I love designing these little dresses, and I would make these for my younger cousins/stuffed animals if only fabric wasn't so darn expensive (unemployed and saving up for tuition right now.) Anyways, tried to draw out Chinese textile patterns here, but the pixelation of the images might have messed up the outlines. I love Chinese and Japanese textiles...whilst the latter is prized for its simplistic graphic designs, the former has such a rich and organic quality to them. Of course, I also like Indian textiles and Scottish plaid....and basically most fabric patterns (except animal prints, neons and metallics.)

The image is of Maka and Kidd...with Maka ready to kick some serious posterior soon.

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Damn, I'm being prank-called by some brat with nothing better to do. My father picked up the phone the first time, and the second time I did....and she basically told us to eat something-out-of-the-toilet-bowl. Not amused. If the brat doesn't cut it out, I'm getting the phone company to trace the effing call and grill that kid. While you can choose to have your caller ID omitted, the phone company has a record of everything, so it'll only take a minute to find everything out....this is why one should always do their research first [on how to make a clean getaway] before annoying the crap out of other people.

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So nervous about graduate school. Still nervous. Oh so nervous. ARGH. Need to watch Olympics to ease my mind....synchronized diving this afternoon. Just the preliminaries, but it's still diving. On another note, while I can understand why people are passionate about freeing Tibet (to be honest, I share similar sentiments), I think demonstrating next to the site of the Olympics is a no-go. Demonstrators will not earn local support for their cause because they; disrupt the Olympics (something that is very important to the locals); have entered the country under the pretense of being tourists (and ended up protesting, thus displaying deception); it is considered very rude to be a guest in the country and yet try to speak out about politics.

Good thing that these protests are happening on a small scale, otherwise it really will increase the us vs. them mentality in different countries involved. And then I'll be totally effed where ever I go, since I have dual nationalities and residency rights...and people will be asking me which way my opinions go (like they did in the U.S. this May). Grrr.