Countdown to Graduation: 17 days

Ah, here is an image I will never finish. I started this early 2007, but I kept changing the character designs over time and now...this is seriously out-of-date. Edel has shorter hair and looks more masculine, and Aein has a straight fringe and an asymmetrical hairstyle. But the colour scheme has remained the same.

I'm also doing a Gundam00 doujinshi page....must start now. Check out the Gundam00 Livejournal page for more information!

Countdown to Graduation: 19 days

Overview of the entire image...foreground is Erebos 'Nano' Rose and Aein; background (top to bottom) is Blithe Bauhinia, Edel Clementine May and Tileon Buvare, and Levante 'LeLa' Lalune.

Okay, the image looks a little wonky right now, but I'll fix up the errors later before colouring the entire thing. (This is why I love drawing on the computer; errors can be changed by a simple click on the 'eraser' function and you can edit stuff for hours. I mean, there is still a skill level required for fixing stuff, but at least its much easier nowadays).
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I've noticed that my 'Work in Progresses' rarely leave that stage. I wonder why that is....I guess I have a short attention span and I always jump to new stuff before the old one is finished. OR, it could be that I simply had too much work to do this semester.

And bloody hell, where did all the time go?! A little over two weeks and we're being kicked out of school, never to venture into the lovely libraries hoping to finish a last-minute paper, roam the lush school grounds under the influence of frozen yogurt at noon, or sit next to the fountain and grimace as the water sprays all over our food. Good times ;___;.

Just woke up from a hour-long nap, and is currently feeling groggy, depressed and even more tired. I hope I'm not going to worry myself sick for graduation....that happened during my freshman year, which pretty much torpedoed any potential for me to develop a large social network with my fellow freshman (I was sitting in class alone for the first two weeks, away from the crowds just so I wouldn't get them ill with whatever it was I had). Nonetheless, I'm still proud I managed to make some very good friends while in college- I've also lost friends, but thats besides the point.

And is it wrong to wish for a simple life and a simple job after getting a degree? Not that I want to sit back and mooch off the world; I'll contribute something of course. But the idea of exiting an institution of education and delving directly into an institution of employment is really intimidating and restricting. I'm so spoilt and demanding....
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One anime I am looking forward to this season would definitely be Soul Eater. I was surprised by how much I liked it, considering how I didn't like the manga style at first (though granted, the style became much better and more detailed in the later chapters). Having colour added to the series sure helps create that sense of dynamism the fight scenes convey. Plus, the animation quality really is stellar. I just hope it doesn't get a beating in the later episodes...like Eureka Seven. As much as I liked all the episodes of Eureka Seven, there were scenes where the proportions just looked off.

Hm, and I can't believe they're airing Code Geass on Cartoon Network...I would have thought the series was a little too nationalistic for their tastes. The animation quality is very high, but the dubbed voice actors....well, lets give it another episode before I decide whether it is of the Naruto-standard (not a compliment!) or.....actually, I've never heard of a good dub before so I can't draw an example.

Love, Hate...what?

I love and hate California all the same. On one hand, the open space is appealing, and the relatively mild weathers make it much easier to buy clothing. On the other, high-crime; raising estate prices (I don't care what you say, estate agent commercial, now is NOT a good time to buy a house! Unless you're super rich); high taxes for the non-wealthy; a new generation of good-for-nothing egocentric kids that grew up privileged and does not know the value of hard work. I cannot bear to live facing these things everyday.

Doesn't help that so many of my friends are staying in L.A. after graduation...or that I also got into a local graduate school in the area. I'm so torn on where to go or what to do.
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Damn, I hate it when people pressure you into drinking alcohol. One or two requests is fine, but if a person keeps insisting after the second rejection, it just makes the entire outing lame and awkward. I don't drinking alcohol because I can't drink alcohol. It's Newton's Law in reverse: what goes down must come up. (I believe Calvin and Hobbes also said the same thing...). A few years back I thought I was just overreacting to alcohol (i.e.; it's all in my head), but apparently it's not; a couple of my relatives react poorly to alcohol so I'm assuming its something genetic. But no matter about that, I'll probably have to put up with this sort of social drinking pressure for the rest of my life.

And no one should ever, ever make physical contact with me beyond that of a hand shake. I could be over reacting at times about this, but I have my reasons and whilst I may not indulge them to anyone, I think it's still polite to maintain physical distance if I ask for it. Jeez, no one would ever attempt to make physical contact with me in Hong Kong...people in the U.S. has this weird super-informal way of greeting each other with hugs and kisses that took me several years to get used to...

Countdown to Graduation: 23 Days!

Quick image of Aein being born from the Para-monde. I decided that there would be co-centric circular patterns all over his skin during this process, with the main colour scheme being pink, beige and white. This is just a rough draft of the sort of design I'm aiming for, and hopefully I'll create a proper image of this later on.

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I've managed to injure myself, and so the fieldtrip is no longer a viable option for me. I'm sad that I'm missing out on a little excursion; but the injury is more serious than how I described it to other people. (I tend to say things that focuses only on the positive and glosses over the serious stuff; I don't like bringing attention to myself. Like the time I accidentally cut my foot on a rusty piece of metal and told my mum is was just a scratch...until my foot became infected. Or the time I said I was feeling 'sleepy' but ended up having a full-blown fever. Or even when I said I had a case of mild indigestion but was actually food-poisoning).

And as the title says, I'm graduating from college in a few days. Less than a month. I'm at the point past denial, and now I'm just depressed about leaving school; the people I've met here; the mild temperatures; college life. I know I've ranted about this in previous posts, but don't worry-- the anxiety is almost out of my system. I find it slightly sad and amusing how I'm noticing the most depressing moments of my life; I've been staring at sunsets alone, inside darken rooms very often; looking at the trees and sky on windy days feeling as though I'll feel nostalgic about this in the future; riding the bus around thinking that I'll never meet the people I see ever again. Hell, I'm such a drama queen.

It doesn't help that my parents are going to be here during graduation; I hate having them over here. They don't offer any comfort for my seperation anxiety, and instead think that its all in my head. [Maybe it is; but if so, what should I do? My parents offer no answers. Clueless bastards]. I don't mind seeing them in Hong Kong, but when they enter MY space...it's the most uncomfortable feeling. Especially since my mum has the 'alpha female' tendency to mark her territory by leaving her junk all over my apartment (and she's a guest! She doesn't even belong here!) and criticizing the amenities. Mind you, mother, but I happen to like the way the rooms are small, the 70's floor tiling is in the kitchen and toilet, and the mismatched doors.

Anywho, I'm thinking about getting a part time job in Hong Kong this summer, probably at the bakery. But seriously, it wouldn't be cool to sit idly at home doing absolutely nothing productive for three months. Or four months, since the grad schools I applied to won't start their term until October. I'll just wave my diploma around into the bakery by the train station, and then demand a cashier spot. I wonder how the manager would react to that. I'll be grouchy that the pay is half that of my current library assistant spot (my cousin told me about the pay/hour and benefits), but at least I will have the power to be a complete cow to the customers. There's no point in having power if you won't abuse it....

...its a good thing I have no intention of becoming a politician. I'll just be the morally indignant pseudo-artist who complains about social wrongs but doesn't really know how things should change for the better.

On the bright side, I'm going shopping later this week. Always a great way to take my mind off things.

Life Goes Round

An image of Kanda, just because he is just that awesome. (Nah, I actually just watched episode 78 again). Simple outlines and posture.
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Every single year, around mid-April, I worry. I worry about everything ranging from housing to classes to life in general. But this year, I super worry. Because graduation is less than a month away. Well, exactly a month away. 30 days. And then I'm gone from undergraduate life.

I'm not sure if I put my undergraduate years to the best use. I didn't do much extra-curricular stuff (asides from the semester helping out at the school paper), nor did I go to any of the networking parties. My involvement remained only on the academic side, which isn't a bad thing-- but it's not the healthiest way to spend my time either. Nonetheless, it is too late for me to do anything about the last four years so I will have to accept the fact that I'm leaving, and that I will have no regrets. I don't know if I really believe this, or whether I'm just making myself believe it. Or is there even a difference between the two?

I've met so many friends over in L.A. that I'm sad to leave them behind. It'll be a strange feeling knowing that I won't be seeing them on campus everyday after May. But then there is also no use in me staying behind by myself because they're all leaving too. It would really suck to be the only person to remain constant in the world.

Seriously, I have issues with change and separation. I also have issues with growing up and accepting the fact that I need to be responsible with the direction of my life from now on. And that there is no longer going to be a safety net to help me rebound if I make a mistake. I'm not even going to bother Freuding the origins of these problems.

At least one of my friends understand what I'm going through, which is really helpful; but I just wish my parents would understand too. Gosh, I don't even feel like I belong anywhere anymore after travelling around so much.

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Hm, loud party near the Frat houses tonight. Every year there is some moron who steps too close to the stage and results in the performer threatening to shut down the party.
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Body Worlds is AWESOME. I loved the displays. Fat chance seeing things like that in Hong Kong, since they're all such a bunch of prudes there.

Recap

An old image from 2004. Which makes it REALLY old. See the lineart? That happens when i) you don't have a tablet and have to resort to outlining on paper ii) you have crappy pens (but you can't complain because you got them for free).
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I did not mean to bail out on the blog for about 2 weeks, but I've been terribly busy thinking about graduation and trying to finish the assignments and essays due before May. I'm actually really nervous about what is going to happen after I walk [the plank], since I'm not sure if I really want to stay in Hong Kong in the long run. My parents don't seem to be able to understand that I find the city too confining and small (they think I meant it literally), and they want me to go back and live with them--but dammit I'm in my twenties! I can go where I damn well please!

A quick recap:

-recently had an art critique in class, survived it, and need to come up with another drawing idea before the end of the month. I'm having problems coming up with interesting concepts because I always want to do something that touches upon the anthropological view of Hong Kong. Doesn't help that the recent Olympic-boycott- fiasco makes it so much more difficult.

-I'm going to Chico in two weeks time, which might suck (I got roped into joining a hiking tour funded by the conference I'm attending) or not (alcoholic beverages will be served)

-watched Juno. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't really Oscar material either. Though I'm still confused over how the word "cute" came to be used to describe the movie.....I heard that word ten times the same night. I must admit I'm a sucker for mellow music used in the Juno soundtrack. I'll probably splurge and buy it when I have time.

-speaking of buying stuff, I recently bought Old School and Zoolander; classic comedies I feel I need to bring back to Hong Kong over the summer and share with highschool chums. I would share with my parents as well, except they probably wouldn't appreciate the KY jelly wrestling scene with Blue.....(think about it, my mum still uses the term 'make love' in front of me and tells me to cover my eyes each time something over PG-13 shows up on the television screen).

-graduate school woes. I've told several of my friends the entire situation, so I don't want to be redundant and mention is again here. So I'll leave it at that.

On another note, the weather is stifling over in California right now. It's only April and the temperature is 32C ....I would hate to imagine what it'll be like at graduation. I've decided I'm going to be wearing a black dress (I don't enjoy vibrant colours, thank you very much), but still puzzling over the shoes. I can't walk in heels, dammit. I can barely walk straight with sneakers on! (Oh damn, so it probably wouldn't be a good idea for me to pick up skateboarding...and I was thinking about that too).

It's the fourth month already?

Work in progress; DGM art (finally it returns!) of Kanda. I liked the way his tattoo has been expanding as of late. I'll just have to wait until I finish the line art until I start colouring....then maybe it won't look so shoddy.

Who knows what was running through my head when I drew this? I just figured it would be cute to put the four meisters together as a family unit (Alle= papa; Lockon=mama; Tieria= daughter; Setsuna= son)...and here I drew the girls together. I'll eventually work my way to drawing a "family portrait".
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Oh damn, how did it get to be April already? So much work to do, and now graduation is only a month away. I'm starting to tire of my undergraduate thesis, and I'm getting worn out by the four years of college education. I think once I start my graduate studies (I got into one graduate school so far, hurrah!) I'll feel better. At least I'll be studying something I enjoy and is interested in.

Eugh, roommate is staying in the apartment tonight. She keeps asking her boyfriend is she is a horrible conversationalist (she is), and I guess he said something she didn't want to hear and a shouting match ensues. Alright, I'll be fair, it was less of a 'shouting match' than it was a 'one sided shouting spree'. I know I'm being harsh to my roommate, and it isn't as though she is a bad person and whatnot, but she's just so oblivious to her current inconsiderate behaviour and she's super emotionally immature that I tend to steer clear of her.

Great, roommate number two returned to the apartment just now and already she is making a mess in the bathroom. I don't understand how you can just leave foundation and crap everywhere on the counter and not wipe it off with a tissue. I always get a migraine whens he is around....though it may have more to do with the super loud music she plays and the fact that she slams any door she passes through. Bloody hell, why can't she respect the idea of peace and quiet?