Work in Progress

Colour coming soon.

Disconnected

T-mobile, I hate you. I need to refill my phone minutes, but you're not making this easy. You won't let me log into my online account. Your phone refill services aren't working. Just what am I supposed to do now?

Intractable stomach

That's right, my stomach is giving me hell right now. Probably ate something that disagreed with me (highly unlikely considering I barely ate anything today), or drank too much milk. A completely masochistic move on my part, seeing how I am lactose intolerant.

But damn, milk has calcium (good for my bones!) and tastes so damn good. Soy milk cannot compare.

Not only do I feel horrible from milk, but also because I asked for a day off from both my library part-time job and internship. I'm exhausted from my GREs, I'm exhausted from feeling as though my stomach is having a rave party, I'm exhausted from being exposed to too much sun this weekend.

Things to look forward to from the mail: two t-shirts my friend bought for me, a Togainu no Chi book that took a month to arrive, and also the crimson bedsheets I ordered from Bed Bath & Beyond after I ripped my current set apart during one of my nervous outbreaks. Bloody bedsheets cost me at least 20USD, but stupid ikea didn't have anything to offer in their online shop.
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On a more personal note, I'm feeling slightly bitter that all my friends/fiends are returning to Hong Kong for the rest of the summer. And I'm stuck over here in California, alone as aways.

I know there really isn't a point in me being too querrulous about it since it was my choice to stay the entire 12 weeks just for my internship...but its hard knowing that you're exlcuded from a bunch of actitivies that everyone else would be able to participate in.

I thought this would be something along the lines of a "golden summer", but so far it has been pretty gloomy, dark and boring. Might be because my bachelor-style room does not have any sunlight, and that everyone in my building is antisocial...or that I don't really connect well with people at my internship. And this one guy that I actually have interesting conversations with at the library plans to leave asap.
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And then my mother tells me how I should be enjoying life right now because "undergraduate years are so easy to get by". A bit rich coming from her, considering she never really did attend a 4 year undergraduate institution. Look, undergraduate life is fun for those people who are super talented and could maintain a healthy social-life and a strong academic background at the same time. I'm not one of those people. I'm diffident and meek with it comes to socializing. I don't understand conversation structures (hence those huge awkward 30 sec pauses between talking) or what the norms are during any sort of social interaction. So awkward.

Flight vs. Fall

Vendredi

Yesterday I finally summoned the nerve to take my GRE exam. I know I could have done better, but the score I have right now is above the average and can fulfill the requirement for the grad schools I am interested in. Those exams are bloody expensive, costing 140USD each time, not to mention that the taxi fare from USC to the test centre (and back) totals up to 60USD. That means I have to spend 200USD each time I take the test.

No wonder so many people are put off by grad schools. Even if they do get scholarships and stipends, these other grad school application requirements are very financially draining.

But to celebrate the end of the exam, I decided to go and watch the 5th Harry Potter movie. Alone. Since my acquaintences (they used to be my friends, but they've been demoted since yesterday hahaha) decided they have more important things to do....like get drunk. Anywho, the movie is pretty good, but I must say that if I haven't read the book beforehand some of the scenes would appear very sporadic. Everything went by so quickly, and even Harry's teenage angst seems to have diminished somewhat in the movie. But the good thing about this is: I didn't end up crying my eyes out like I did when I read the book.

Potter, Over

I finished reading the last Harry Potter book. Took me twelve hours, but it was sure worth savouring every single page. No spoilers here, because I'm sure some dear child out there is still plowing through the book, but let's just say I'm sad but very happy.

Now, I must reread the book.

Dash it all.

Leave it to a homeless man wandering outside the supermarket to make me feel like scum. The story: I had a slight emergency and bought groceries from the market when I got approached by this houseless man. Initially, I ignored him. Then houseless man tricked me into stopping by telling me that I dropped something on the ground. (Nasty trick, I should have kow better. I've been living in this ghetto for the past 3 years).

Then the houseless man starts asking me for money to buy raw chicken breasts. First off; does he even have a stove to cook them? Secondly; I just came out of the store, and used up all my cash for the day to buy my groceries. Perhaps he should have asked someone entering the store, not exiting. And third; the meat section in the market smells funky and I dislike being within 5 metres of the area. So of course I refused to help him. I even apologized since it's decorum to do so. But then he just glares at me, goes "YOU'RE NOT SORRY", turns around and leaves.

I felt damn awful for hours after that little run-in, but now, in retrospect, I realize that I really wasn't sorry I didn't help him. I'm not sorry, and nor should I be. I never expected myself to be a good person in the first place.

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Rough sketch done in Open Canvas.